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My first solo trip was in 2014. I traveled for four months around Thailand (and some other south Asia countries). I had recently ended a 13 year turbulent relationship. I had tons of questions and only a few answers.
Why did I choose Thailand?
I Struggled for ages trying to believe my ex-husband somehow was good for me. I tried to look at his unfaithful behavior as a minor problem. But I always knew what he was doing. The times I confronted him, he would make me believe I was hallucinating. For many years I thought I was crazy.
He was my first love, and I didn’t want to accept the fact I was wrong for all those years. By the end, I was paranoid and depressed and feeling like I was wasting my youth, living a lie for so long.
All I need is a fresh start.
The urge to be as distant as I could from all the drama to reconnect with myself was growing as I wished to be closer to my spiritual side. It sounds a lot like a version of Eat, Pray, and Love. I know! And maybe I was a little inspired by that book— not by the part about love, though. I was looking to be as far as possible of any romantic scene.
I was craving to do something extraordinary that would give meaning to my life. Thailand and the possibility to immerse into the Buddhist culture was the only thing I could think about. Stay surrounded by all nature, the sun, and the turquoise ocean was definitely a dream. I am fascinated by the Asian culture, and Thailand would be perfect for the start of my journey.
Many people tried to stop me. It is too dangerous for a girl to travel by herself in a country like that. And also it is too expensive. I was getting a divorce and would need money to rebuild my life. I didn’t have much.
I agree with some aspects of it being dangerous and I will talk more about that on a suitable occasion. About the financial issue, I realized I would have to spend all my savings on therapy if I stayed.
I am shy and always had difficulty interacting with people. I saw this trip as a huge challenge, and a unique opportunity to overcome my weakness. I was forcing myself to get out of my shell. And be away from my home, in a harrowing moment was my way of understanding what I need to do next.
The desire to heal other women who where going through a similar situation was my major impulse. The amazingness of that place forced me to reformulate all my beliefs. I saw and did things I would never experience if I had stayed at home crying.
I did cry, though. The difference was that I was in a much better place. I was drinking Mai Tais, getting a spectacular tan, and looking at the most wonderful combination of the blue and green waters. It wasn't until the day I realized there was nothing more to be sad about, I was ready to go back home as a brand new version of myself with the conviction that I had made the most assertive decision of my life.
I couldn’t be more grateful for all I lived there. The temples, the beaches, and the people all synchronized in perfect harmony to make each moment singular and special.
I hope to be able to inspire people to have their own adventures. Sometimes all we need is an incentive and a bit of encouragement to set free our wanderlust spirit.