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I spend most of my time looking outside of my window. I like to pretend that I'm looking out onto a big city. I envision myself in a New York studio apartment, covered in a fur coat, maybe holding a glass of wine as I sit on a lounge chair. When I am not imagining living a luxurious life in the city, there are times where I just stare out my window soaking in the sun that pours into my bedroom. The warmth of the sun is pleasant. I admire the cotton candy colored skies, and I stare at the leaves on the trees that have an orange complexion from the sun. I listen to the birds chirp as they fly around my backyard. Most of the time I take all of these wondrous things for granted, which I know is a shame.
If someone was to ask me why I loved the city so much, I would say because I like the idea of the cities never sleeping, which always made me feel safe as opposed to the dark skies where the stars no longer twinkled and the moon hid behind the homes of citizens. I don't live in the city but I do live in a town that tries really hard to be more like one. The dark skies are always lit up by the cars passing by. Their lights scatter above my bedroom ceiling which would comfort me as I fall to sleep. Hearing people chatter and the sound of car radios would soothe me as my mind drifts off into a somber sleep.
When I visited New York, one the greatest moments was going up to the rooftop of the hotel I stayed in. I was finally going to be able to take it all in, the bright lights of Times Square and the smell of the best pizza bakeries around. I sat near the edge of the rooftop alone. As I sat there I tried to find the things that eased me from back home, but instead I heard the ambulance race past red lights which didn't comfort me and the chatter of people turned into yelling which didn't soothe me. The worst part was taking in the polluted air which infiltrated my lungs. I was no longer amazed by that city. The only thing that amazed me was staring up at the moon, which was supposed to be the light source of the night but became dim by the office lights and the flash of blue and red lights circling around the city. Now, don't get me wrong the city is a beautiful place. It's like the golden egg the goose lays, but instead of it being solid gold once you crack the egg, yolk pours out of it with disembodied parts of a gander. There is hate and crime and tears of the depressed. There's greed, sex, and sin—oh and the Trump tower.